Food Show (1985)
This is James Test Taste Victim O'Regan in Toronto.
My brain's being fried by Coke, the drink. You just can't get away from it on TV, radio, posters.
Take, for instance, the words, "The words I'm about to say will change the course of history." C'mon, the atomic bomb, the abortion debate, is it too hot for shorts? Those are earth shattering, history making issues. But this, "Dum, da, da: Coke has changed!" Really.
Let's examine the facts. If history's changed, how come when you buy a can of Coke, you still can't get the flip top open without a flat-top screwdriver?
And, try going to a store to buy a can of Coke on your coffee break. It takes five minutes just to survey the options, row upon row. Take time to decide which one to buy and you're out of a job! Which one? Coke, new Coke, old Coke, classic Coke, diet Coke, caffeine free Coke, Saccarine free Coke, Coke free Coke, otherwise known as Pepsi or RC Cola, Coke in a Can, Coke in a bottle, a small bottle, can I loitre for a litre?
`Sure, Coke is it. But what's it for? [Edited by CBC legal department: "To drink? To Drink Coke is to deny the age old folk wisom, 'Hey, ever see what it does to a nail?' (Brrrr.)"]
The big issue here is credibility. We've been told for years, "Coke is it." It's the best, right? But now, "New Coke is it." What can that mean? Is it somehow bester?
What's it all about? It's a well known fact that children love sweets. The Coke people are after your five year olds!
Or, are they? For all you Les-Nesman-conspiracy-theory types out there: What was the first product from the "free" west allowed into China? Coca-Cola; And, you know, Coca-Cola does have a lot of red on its label. And, don't forget, both seem bent on world-wide domination. Are these simply striking coincidences? Hmmmmm.
For the Food Show, Comrades, this is James O'Regan in Toronto.